These are the legal things that a chap can do. There are bound to be others when bribery and corruption are normal in Brussels. The gravy train serves to lubricate the business of getting power to screw the peasants.

How to Maximize Your Expenses: Advice to new Members of the European Parliament
Fraud does not come into. You show them your boarding pass and they give you the money. You do not have to tell any fibs or say that you actually spent it. You just claim your allowance. Air fares are a very nice little earner – worth maybe £600 a week. Naturally it is tax free. And that is just one of the totally legal moves. Of course it is only tax payers' money so nobody cares.

Then there is the attendance allowance [ note the word allowance ] of €262 (£180) – widely known as the ‘sign-on and sod-off’ fee – is just as remarkable. In order to claim this it is merely necessary to sign on before 10 am on any or all of the 155 days on which the European Parliament sits; there is no need to speak in a debate or even to stay.

 The attendance allowance is paid to cover accommodation and meals.  In reality, most MEPs have wisely bought flats in Brussels, many of which are sub-let to research assistants who hand back part of the income they receive from the Member’s staff allowance (see below) as rent.  As for meals there is no reason to spend a penny of your allowance or your £56,000 salary - salaries are presently set at the same levels as those received by members of their national parliaments.  To eat well simply flag down a passing lobbyist who will be delighted to take you to breakfast, lunch or dinner.

Truly we are well governed or just expensively governed. Cuisine in Brussels is world class.